Back to Work

Not really though. 

I started getting ready an hour after I woke up. I couldn't carpool with my officemate because she wasn't bringing a car -- so the thought of not going to work was lingering in my head. I don't think I'm ready to go back. I'm still so light headed, there are times I find myself staring off into space.

I dreamt of Lola. I dreamt she was mad, like she always was when she was still here. In my dream, I was insisting for her to believe that she's already gone. But she won't believe me. I asked Angelo to get the Death Certificate so I can show her, but I woke up already. I felt scared. Scared she might just be roaming around like what a lot of the elders say sometimes in stories. I thought maybe she really does not believe she's gone, so in a way I was expecting to see her or hear something that she always does in the morning. Thankfully, I didn't.

It was only 11am but I already felt tired. I arrived in the office and only a few people were there. I felt relief because I wanted to stay low key, didn't want to talk to anyone because they might ask things. And I'm not really up for any conversation at all.

Had lunch, then a few hours later I accompanied Milo to his guesting on One Music Popssss with Inigo and Ylona. That was fun.

Had dinner at Snackaroo then dessert at Cafe I'm Here! Finally got to taste their bingsu and it did not disappoint! Super loved it.  At least even for a few hours I was able to forget all the problems on my plate. 

Tomorrow is Lola's 9th day. There should be a prayer/novena session here at the house then I'll go visit her at the cemetery to see if the lapida  is already up. Everything's still such a blur to me that sometimes I listen closely if someone/something moves right outside my window or at the dirty kitchen outside the house. I don't want to be praning but it's been mentioned many times that she's the type of person who will actually haunt you when she's gone. I mean, I don't believe that or anything, but who knows, right?